A Random Collection of Randomness A Comedy
by Hyrule Goddess
Summary: Caution: Parents who do not want their children reading stupid and mindless literature, andor about talking fruits, go somewhere else.


A.N. This is my cheap attempt at a comedy. Then again, all my work is bleep so this shouldn't be much different. Just a warning.  
  
James started stupidly out the window down at the ground below. The dull snores of Remus, Peter and Sirius were driving him mad. He poked the window out of boredom.  
  
"Why must staring stupidly out the window down at the ground below be so boring?" he thought aloud.  
  
"Because that's how I wrote it!" The author exclaimed  
  
James looked around frantically. "Who's there?" The author twiddled her thumbs and whistled innocently.  
  
He returned to his bored state, but not before heaving a deep, melodramatic sigh. The other three in the dormitory suddenly awoke. "Good lord, James! Must you be so loud?" Sirius asked sleepily.  
  
James was shocked. "You wake up when I breathe, but stayed sound asleep when the author spoke rather loudly?" James pointed to the exclamation mark. The others look at him like a moldy old fish was dangling from his left nostril. It was Remus who spoke up first.  
  
"Um, James? What in Gryffindor's name are you pointing at?" James gave up and put his arm down. He crawled into bed, and quickly fell asleep.  
  
The next morning something interesting happened. The author, however, refuses to tell the next events of the story so quickly, so the reader will have to endure some mindless dialog before coming to the equally mindless semi-plot. That being said, breakfast that morning was rather quiet, which did not go unnoticed by the faculty at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. The head table was a-buzz with questions about why it was so quiet that very morning, which completely destroyed the silence. They eventually came to the conclusion that there was no conclusion.  
  
In a different spot in the castle, namely the kitchen, the Marauders were scrounging around for food.  
  
"Why are we spending so much time looking for food, when it just appears magically on our plates upstairs?" Remus asked intelligently. The other three hung their heads.  
  
"Because then we wouldn't be "the Marauders" now would we, Remus?" James stated. "We would be the... the..." He was at a very uncreative loss for words, as was usual when James tried to think too hard. They spent several unexciting moments scrounging for food in the kitchen...  
  
"Honestly, who has to scrounge for food in a _kitchen_?" the author said, causing the boys to look frantically around. Another voice this time caught their attention from the produce cabinet.  
  
"Psst!" came the voice from the produce cabinet, rather loudly. The boys all dramatically turned to face the cabinet, but nothing was there.  
  
"Maybe they're an Animagus?" Remus pointed out when he saw the look of stupidity dripping off of Peter's face.  
  
"Or maybe it's a reeeeeally little person." Sirius tired to add. Remus hung his head in embarrassment. He opened the cabinet, only to find that not a single animal (nor a really little person) was there. In fact, the produce cabinet was empty, except for a single, small, insignificant yellow pear. Sirius was disappointed nearly to tears, and while James and Remus tried to comfort the grief-stricken boy, Peter grabbed the pear.  
  
Just as he was about to take a bite, "Hey, you with the hair!" the voice whispered loudly. Everybody in the room turned to look at Peter.  
  
"Yes?" they all asked at once. Peter looked at them, and then at the pear. "Oh, nothing." He said and turned back toward the cabinet. "Yes?" he responded to the pear's previous question.  
  
"You are Peter Pettigrew, are you not?" Peter nodded, dumbfounded that the pear could speak. "I have been sent to give you this message," the pear made a noise that vaguely resembled a man clearing his throat, and then began it's message.  
  
Author: What happened to the nostril-dwelling fish? Will Sirius ever recover? Will Peter ever know what message the talking pear has to deliver? Join our heroes next time on A COLLECTION OF RANDOM RANDOMNESS; a comedy. An: this is just a test to see if people like my random comedy. May or may not write more.


End file.
